I was troubled as a kid. However, my troubles were silent. I didn’t have/expose a “well-known” mental disorder such as retardation, ADHD, Schizophrenic, or Bipolar Disorder. It started off as an attention thing. Some where in this damn brain of mine, I craved attention. I didn’t just need it; at that time in my life – I lived for it. ATTENTION–that word is more powerful than you may think. If you’re getting plenty of attention then you may not understand.
After the hurt from the dealer mentioned in part one, I still didn’t learn a clear lesson. I still searched for friends everywhere. I kept reaching out to females for friendship but as quick as it started-it ended. Some were lost because I wasn’t interested in anything that they had to talk about. I wasn’t into men, especially after dealing with the last one. I wasn’t interested in shopping, hair, nails, makeup, or anything they had in mind. I tried being friends with older women but they tried to turn me out. Let me give you a more detailed description of what being “Turned Out” means.
I met this lady at McDonald’s-we both were employed there. During the time that I worked at McDonald’s, I was having some serious issues with my marriage. My ex husband and I were very violent towards each other. So due to my situation at home, I was making plans to leave my home to get away from that toxic relationship.
Over time, I started chilling with the female that I mentioned previously. I would go over her house and try to talk to her about my problems, but she was always trying to find some gangster or drug dealer to hook me up with. She would do my hair in ways that I wouldn’t normally style it. She didn’t like any of my clothes-so she changed that too.
The EMS arrived at my home and got me to start talking. They sympathized with me and gave me all the attention that I needed. One of the paramedics actually gave me a lecture about life which was comforting at the time. The two paramedics promised that I would get the help that I needed. I arrived at the hospital on a stretcher but thank God they didn’t strap me down. All of the nurses were starring at me and whispered amongst each other. I expected that though-due to the reason I was I was being hospitalized.