Metaphorically speaking: A Ladybug With No Spots?

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Real picture taken by me in Greer, SC

How often do you see a real ladybug with no spots? Not very often I would guess, but this is actually my first time.

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Taken by me, spotless ladybug and ant

The ladybug is alone with a little pest in its face. No similarities in sight. Where is his family? Where are his friends? This ladybug is similar to me in so many ways!

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Seems so unimportant but very significant

I’m a spotless ladybug, I’m independent and as we’ve stated before, I’m friendless. I’ve been living in the State of South Carolina for 8 years with no family in sight. All of my family is located in Detroit, Michigan. I feel alone a lot in this world. I’m one of the ones that wants happiness and equality. I can honestly say I’m one of the good ones. I still help people, with no ulterior motive. Nowadays you have to give, and give a lot to receive anything. No one is friendly anymore either! If you’re friendly, you’ll get a label from society as being a whore, flirtatious, or talkative. Labels & Categories is how we describe each other today. If you’re smart, you’re a nerd, if you like sex, you’re nympho. Einstein was a genius but labeled him as “crazy” because he understand things that no one else could comprehend.

I am “weird” myself, I love to talk, I love to write, and I love words. I’m extremely observant, as you can see, I spotted a spotless ladybug. I have an ability to “over-analyze” anyone and anything. I pay close attention to details about everything. I like to pick bumps, they have way too much control over my skin. When I see a bump I just have to help it release those disgusting fluids that hide underneath.

Yes, I’m a spotless ladybug because who in this world thinks like me? My mind gets loads of overtime. Anyway, this precious ladybug spiked my interest and made me feel more welcome in this world. Call it what you want. But that ladybug will prosper, and so will I……. spotless-not like the rest-stomp to my own MUSIC- I’M A LEADER-WHILE THE REST OF THE WORLD MARCH IN UNISON.

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Lacey

Lacey C Riley
LACEYS PACE

My Thoughts While Inside a South Carolina Prison

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Hey folks, since I’ve been mentioning the fact that I’ve been in prison, I’ve decided to share somethings that I went through in prison. This particular blog is an excerpt from one of my journals that I just recently found buried in some old shoe boxes.

7/28/2013
Journal thoughts:

It’s amazing how things you think you don’t care about actually mean something to you. The outer shell that you’ve handmade cannot withstand reality. The outer shell is not deeply embedded like what’s you deep inside you. When you pour out your feelings to someone or something, don’t always expect something back or don’t expect that you will get back what you want. Never trust anyone that much. We are all humans and half the time we can’t even trust ourselves. We have a hard time trusting our own judgement, our own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Take precaution when opening your heart. Only open it when absolutely necessary. Don’t misunderstand me; when a person opens their heart, it’s not always about love. It can relate to friendship etc. Even still, take precaution because that too can backfire. Another point that needs to be made is the fact that no one is really “REAL”. Everyone at one point or another “ACTS” like this or that. So if one is “ACTING”, why take to heart their actions? I have to live by those thoughts in order to make it through life peacefully and to be able to endure less hurt!

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Simply my mindset in prison, time was the only thing that changed. Not I

“Friend-Less” Part II

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Sad, lonely, confused, but STRONG!

Photo courtesy of: http://www.healthyblackwoman.com/what-happens-to-adult-black-women-who-suffered-abuse-before-age-11/

After the hurt from the dealer mentioned in part one, I still didn’t learn a clear lesson. I still searched for friends everywhere. I kept reaching out to females for friendship but as quick as it started-it ended. Some were lost because I wasn’t interested in anything that they had to talk about. I wasn’t into men, especially after dealing with the last one. I wasn’t interested in shopping, hair, nails, makeup, or anything they had in mind. I tried being friends with older women but they tried to turn me out. Let me give you a more detailed description of what being “Turned Out” means.

I met this lady at McDonald’s-we both were employed there. During the time that I worked at McDonald’s, I was having some serious issues with my marriage. My ex husband and I were very violent towards each other. So due to my situation at home, I was making plans to leave my home to get away from that toxic relationship.

Over time, I started chilling with the female that I mentioned previously. I would go over her house and try to talk to her about my problems, but she was always trying to find some gangster or drug dealer to hook me up with. She would do my hair in ways that I wouldn’t normally style it. She didn’t like any of my clothes-so she changed that too.

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